I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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