Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
