I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
