eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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