my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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