no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
