yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
