she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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