i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
