Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
