the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
