woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
MIDGETS
????
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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