Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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