We got so high we made milksteak
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize