i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize