So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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