I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
