I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
