Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
