So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
