your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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