we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
