But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
