Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
