no, he came in my armpit
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize