..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
