Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
