I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize