Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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