So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
