i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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