Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
