I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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