I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
