Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
