like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
