she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
