You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
