Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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