This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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