The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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