You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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