Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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