is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
