just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize