You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can i not drive my cunt home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
