Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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