well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
