do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
