You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
