We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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