mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've blown a few things in my day
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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