remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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