That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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