I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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