i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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