i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i dont even know how to be here
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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